


The Donalding

by ThreeHats



Category: Donald Trump - Fandom, K (Anime)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 15:16:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6334045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThreeHats/pseuds/ThreeHats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>President Trump comes into power and institutes the purge.  When his target is anthropomorphic animals, there's only one person who can stop him.  All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Donalding

All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.

 **Characters:** Neko, Donald Trump  
 **Location:** Disneyland  
 **Scenario:** The Purge

“YES! GO! KILL THE ANIMAL PEOPLE! THEY DON’T BELONG IN OUR GREAT UNITED STATES OF AMUUUUURICA!”

Donald Trump cackled as his zombie followers flooded down Main Street, hacking away at every costumed performer they could get their hands on. Starting up the Purge in his second year as president had been his best idea yet, if he did say so himself, and he did, a lot. Like, almost constantly, in case anyone had the nerve to start forgetting about what a great idea it was. This way his fans and supporters could just hack away at anyone who was different than them and it was TOTALLY LEGAL. Oh yeah, he’s amazing. He always has such big ideas. And a big dick too. Have you SEEN his fingers?! They’re huge. HUGE!

They’d already taken care of those Mexican scumbuckets in the last purge, as well as Muslims, Asians, blacks, Canadians… it had been a busy day. Busy but GREAT! He’d had an extra scoop of Frosted Flakes in the morning so he’d known that America would be extra great that day. And it was. Damn he loved Frosted Flakes. I mean death. I MEAN AMERICA.

Anyway, this year they had a new target: ANTHROPOMORPHIC ANIMALS. Disney had been more powerful than him for FAR TOO LONG and he was sick of it. Sure, some naysayers were all, “They’re just actors in costumes, you potato freak of a president!” 

But he just locked them in the crazy house for being so DANG CRAZY and went on eating his cereal. Because THEY’RE the crazy ones. They’re probably all secretly anthropomorphic animals themselves! TERRORISTS!! And so this year’s purge was focused on the headquarters of all evil: DISNEYLAND. Disneyworld was just the front man. The LAND is where the mouse actually lives. Everyone knows that.

Trump grinned as a gaggle of Trump supporters tore the limbs off of Goofy, the dog man’s screams sounding awfully girly. So he was secretly a female too! DISGUSTING! Good riddance to that filthy animal man woman! He exited Main Street and stopped before the castle, looking it over. This could be a nice summer home. It’s a little small, but it LOOKS big, and that’s what counts.

“Nyah~?”

“The fuck?” The Donster asked, whipping his head around to see what had just made such an un-American noise. A girl was standing beside him, looking at him with big weird cat eyes. What the fuck?! “YOU! FEMALE! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOUR EYES?!”

The girl cocked her head curiously, and then OH FUCK SHE’S A CAT NOW WHAT THE FUCK?! DT grasped at his heart with his totally large fingers in shock and horror, stumbling away from the abomination. His eyes narrowed. “YOU ARE ONE OF THEM!” Trump trumpeted, spit flying in the cat girl’s direction. He shook his fist, glancing around wildly. “SOMEONE COME KILL THIS THING! IT OFFENDS ME AND MUST DIE AT ONCE! AMERICA!”

But everyone was busy killing and pillaging and whatnot, and they’d been worked into such a frenzy that not even their fearless wrinkly leader pulling his fiercest duck face could get their attention. Trump pursed his lips, his eyes squinty mounds of wrinkle face parts. “Fine then, I guess I’ll have to DO THIS MYSELF!” He fell into a boxing stance, facing the cat girl. “Come at me, you damn dirty woman.”

The cat girl just blinked again, looking almost amused. How dare she! “Um… You okay, nyah? You look like you’re having a stroke.”

Trump sputtered, his face as red and squishy as a sun dried tomato. “I AM PREPARING TO FIGHT YOU, YOU CUR!”

The cat girl giggled. “Okay! But shouldn’t we introduce ourselves first? I’m Neko! And I Neko neko need you to shut the fuck up and tell me your name before I scratch your eyes out, okay nyah?”

Trump was fuming. “HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW MY NAME?! I AM YOUR RULER, DONALD TRUMP!”

Neko gasped excitedly. “Donald Duck?! I love him, nyah!”

“NO NOT DONALD DUCK!” Trump snapped, spit and sweat flying everywhere in his rage. He HATED that comparison. God, they were nothing alike! Honestly people saying that was like 90% why he’d declared war on anthropomorphic animals in the first place. HE HOPED THAT DUCK WAS BURNING SOMEWHERE RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

Neko pouted. “Aww, that’s too bad. I woulda gone easy on you if you were, nyah.”

Trump ran forward, fists flailing. “I’LL BET YOU’RE ALWAYS EASY, YOU WOMAN CAT, GET YOUR COOTIES AWAY FROM MY GLORIOUS DICK FINGERS!”

Neko side stepped, and Trump fell flat on his squishy face. “Ouch,” Neko said, faking sympathy. She squatted down next to his head and smiled. “This is for the animal-people, nyah~”

And then she slammed his head down into the pavement over and over with all her might. Trump flailed, screaming for someone to save him, but alas, his tiny fingers could not grasp Neko’s wrist well enough to pry her off of him, and no one heard his cries. Eventually, as the pavement in front of the castle ran red with his hate-filled blood, he stilled, and his lips were at last blissfully silent.

Neko stood, wiping her hands on her dress. She then used her cat skills to climb high up onto the castle, took a deep breath and announced, “AMERICA! YOUR LEADER HAS BEEN SLAIN! I AM YOUR NEW LEADER, NEKO NYAH! THE PURGE IS OFFICIALLY OVER, BY ORDER OF ME, NYAH!”

She watched with satisfaction as everyone’s murderous rampage slowed to a confused halt, the suddenly befuddled crowd convening before the castle to gaze upon their fallen leader.

“I understand that you’re confused, nyah,” Neko said with a solemn nod. “But, by spilling his blood in this holy place, this devil’s spell has been broken over you. You can finally behave like humans again! Nyah!”

Everyone looked up at Neko, tears in their eyes as they finally felt the hate lift from their hearts. They were free! Finally, all this madness had come to an end!

“Now then,” Neko was continuing, “we must begin to rebuild this country at once. And my first decree is that everyone must own at least one cat! Because cats will make you happier and more productive, and less likely to become stupid murderous zombie people again, nyah!” She smiled, striking a cute pose. “How does that sound?”

Everyone cheered, Neko preening under the attention. Ah, this was the dawn of a beautiful new era. And Neko had the perfect slogan prepared to keep people going! Make 

America Nyah Again! Perfect. Elegant, simple, and cat-tastic! Yes, America was going to be okay.


End file.
